August 2020 by Beth S.
Curio Cabinets – God’s Gentle Touch
Have you ever been in a place in your life when you feel so alone, a place where you feel desperate and isolated, like God doesn’t even see you? I think many of us have.
Let me encourage you that the God of the Universe, who controls and knows all things, does care about the littlest things in our lives. It is truly humbling and overwhelming.
Many years ago, while married, I was living my life – not as devoted to the Lord as I should have been, struggling and living with wrong priorities but surviving. One thing that I had always wanted was a curio cabinet. This is a cabinet that holds and displays your treasures. I had wanted one for years. We certainly had the resources but it was just not to be during that season of my life. Yet, I longed for it.
But things change right? And I found myself a single mother, with two children to care for. I had moved to an older house … a house we would call our “transition house.” It would become our home and help us heal. On the outside, it was an adorable cottage, perfect for us to settle into. A delightful little bungalow, this house was quintessential mid-western style with brick flower beds and a picket fence. Those first few months of change were devastating and I poured myself into creating a sanctuary. With bedrooms set up, pictures on the walls, I struggled to find normalcy. I felt alone, exhausted and desperate and I would plead to the Lord for comfort.
We had completed moving in but quickly found that things were not quite as picturesque as I had thought. In my new little domain, my roof leaked horribly, pouring down through the walls and woodwork. My sink had horrendous moisture under it. Hidden behind the cabinet doors were actual mushrooms growing. An older home, several of the windows decided to show their age by falling out. I was a wreck. Going through all the emotions of these intense changes as everything literally fell apart, I sat in the corner of the dining room and wept. No, not just wept – with a broken heart and spirit, I grieved. You know, that painful type of crying that leaves you exhausted.
And when the huge wave of emotion decided it had run its course, I looked up and in the corner of the dining room were two built-in curio cabinets. My mouth was open. I had not noticed them when I bought the house but there they were. Bright white with glass laden doors, just ready for treasures to be held and displayed. I laughed and cried some more and I knew at that point that God, the Creator of the Universe, had bent down to touch my heart and give me something that I would cherish for the rest of my life … curio cabinets. In all of this I was not alone. God was gently coming alongside me, walking with me through the leaks and the mushrooms and the windows, to show me that He knew me, He knew my pain, knew my heart, and cared enough to provide for me on this simple unnecessary indulgence. I was overwhelmed. I remember sitting there just staring at them and feeling as if God was there holding my hand.
That little house became our home for a bit, it produced good memories through hard times. And I would frequently sit in the dining room and look at the curios and just smile, comforted in my heart for an undeserved gesture of kindness from a loving God.
If you have found yourself in that place, where you feel alone, you must remember that we serve a loving God and one who knows our hearts better than we do (Psalm 139:1 – 12).
I am reminded of the lyrics of Who Am I by Casting Crowns:
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?
Not because of who I am
But because of what you’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who you are
… You have told me I am yours …
He has done this throughout my life. He has done this for you.